‘Father Absence is the Biggest Social Issue of our Time.’ ~ UNICEF
‘Tonight, about 40 percent of children in the western world will go to sleep in homes in which their fathers do not live. Before they reach the age of eighteen, more than half of our nation's children are likely to spend at least a significant portion of their childhoods living apart from their fathers.
Never before in this country have so many children been voluntarily abandoned by their fathers. Never before have so many children grown up without knowing what it means to have a father.
Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend of this generation. It is the leading cause of declining child wellbeing in our society. It is also the engine driving our most urgent social problems (in children and adults alike).... If this trend continues, fatherlessness is likely to change the shape of our society.’ ~ David Blankenhorn
The Secret Code to Break the Cycle of Father Absence
Why is my the father code important?
We now have successive generations who have grown up in the void of fatherlessness. The impact of father absence affects men, women and children alike and shows up in almost every aspect of our lives, like an invisible anchor it holds us back form so much of what our lives could be.
‘The weak or absent father cripples both his daughters' and his sons' ability to achieve their own identity and to relate in positive ways.’
We can look at family systems and see the breakdown of the traditional family. More and more families display the sorry fact of the disappearing father, whose disappearance, through either emotional or physical abandonment, or both, wreaks psychological devastation on the children of both sexes. The weak or absent father cripples both his daughters' and his sons' ability to achieve their own identity and to relate in positive ways.
Our relationship with our father is crucial in the development of a positive identity and self esteem. We are conditioned to model many of our future outcomes based specifically on the relationship we experience with our father. This is simply how we are wired.
The Father Code is the only resource developed to deal with the cycle of father absence and support Women, Men and Children in releasing the effects of fatherlessness.
Breaking the Cycle of Father Absence.
Here's a simple yet very powerful guide that you can use to ensure that your child doesn’t suffer the impact of Father Absence (even when their father, for whatever reason, is not available). This is exactly what I wish my mother had known about when I grew up without my father.
You do not have to face this alone! Here are the facts that surround father absence and most importantly- what you can do to the escape the cycle of father absence and it impacts. Sometimes just knowing that someone cares can make a difference.
Did you grow up (as a child) in an absent father environment? The facts are that you will likely struggle in many aspects of life including relationships, career, health, financial security and even addiction to alcohol, cigarettes, computers etc - the great news is that you can easily escape the cycle of father absence.
Facts on Father Absence
Father Factor in Poverty
Children in father-absent homes are almost four times more likely to experience financial hardship.
Father Factor in Emotional and Behavioral Problems
A study of 1,977 children age 3 and older living with a residential father or father figure found that children living with married biological parents had significantly fewer externalizing and internalizing behavioral problems than children living with at least one non-biological parent.
Father Factor in Maternal and Child Health
Infant mortality rates are 1.8 times higher for infants of unmarried mothers than for married mothers.
Father Factor in Incarceration
Even after controlling for income, youths in father-absent households still had significantly higher odds of incarceration than those in mother-father families. Youths who never had a father in the household experienced the highest odds.
Father Factor in Crime
A study of 109 juvenile offenders indicated that family structure significantly predicts delinquency.
Father Factor in Teen Pregnancy & Sexual Activity
Being raised by a single mother raises the risk of teen pregnancy, marrying with less than a high school degree, and forming a marriage where both partners have less than a high school degree.
Father Factor in Child Abuse
A study using data from the Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study revealed that in many cases the absence of a biological father contributes to increased risk of child maltreatment.
Father Factor in Childhood Obesity
The National Longitudinal Survey of Youth found that obese children are more likely to live in father-absent homes than are non-obese children.
Father Factor in Academic Performance
Father involvement in schools is associated with the higher likelihood of a student getting mostly A’s. This was true for fathers in biological parent families, for stepfathers, and for fathers heading single-parent families.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is The Father Code?
TheFatherCode.com is an online community and resource. It is designed for anyone dealing with the issue of father absence or looking to understand the impact of fatherlessness. The site is set up with specific areas for adults who have a father wound, parents (mothers) raising children in a father absent environment or older children or teens who are living in a fatherless environment.
You will find free information which helps as well as simple and easy to follow step by step guides to help you break the effects and limits of fatherlessness. The aim is to break the cycle of father absence through knowledge, awareness and action.
The interactive community is an example of positive action and serves as a effective support network to those looking to escape the affects of a fatherless upbringing and for those who choose to be an example for children in a fatherless family.
Explanations for the father absence
Reasons as to why there are more absent fathers than ever are various. With nearly half of all marriages ending in divorce, the phenomenon of a father absence appears to have risen. Incarceration is a contributing factor to father absence. In 2007, the Bureau of Justice Statistics in the US reported that there are approximately over 740,000 men in either a U.S. state or federal prisons who are the father to over 1.5 million children Death adds to the number of absent fathers. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, about one in 20 children (under 18) experience the death of their fathers. Also, a large number of fathers are overseas in the Middle East. In addition, many fathers work over 50-70 hours per week or spend lengths of time on business trips. Drug and or alcohol addiction, mental illness and emotional issues also contribute to the instance of father absence. Whatever the reason may be, father absence is obviously detrimental to the well-being of children and adolescence.
What is an absent father?
Whilst there are many definitions of what constitutes an absent father in general terms I have found there to be two broad criteria.
The first has to do with the prolonged and or regular physical absence where the father does not reside with their children or is away for long periods of time. This includes fathers who are divorced, separated, incarcerated, in the military, travel regularly for business and are absent in the home for significant or regular periods. One article by researcher Bruce J. Ellis defined absence of the biological or adoptive birth father at or before the child reached age 5 as early onset of father absence, while late onset of father absence was defined as occurring when the child was between 6 and 13, the article also states that divorce is the most common reason why fathers are absent in most western countries.
The second broad criteria for father absence relates to emotionally unavailable fathers. Here although physically present the father is for reasons such as alcohol and drug abuse, depression or mental illness, emotional blockages or issues such as anger or addictions such as work, food, computer games, gambling and so on is unavailable to the child and their needs.
How do I deal with father absence?
There is no doubt that for most children the effects of a growing in a fatherless environment continue throughout their adult lives.
Unfortunately the most common way most people deal with the issues, whether they are aware of them or not, is thorough avoidance. Alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, overeating, depression and alike are all examples or symptoms of the deeper issue of father absence.
The key in freeing yourself from these and many other symptoms is firstly through awareness.
I invite you to look through the site and access any of the simple programs designed to guide beyond the cycle of father absence and its effects and limits.