The absence of our father teaches us to in many ways surrender our potential and then we learn to obey our instructions. By accepting the status quo, we learn to surrender our ability to choose a different future.
As mentioned earlier, at some stage throughout their lives most people express a desire to express their potential be that through wealth, health happiness, social status or alike.
If you examine what most people genuinely want out of life, their answers can be expressed in terms of a desire to help others; a desire to live a life of choice; a desire to feel secure; a desire to experience peace of mind; a desire to live according to their own sense of time; a desire to be free of the everyday constraints of the need to earn a living; a desire to feel a sense of achievement; a desire to give meaning to their existence; a desire to feel certain about the future and a desire to experience increasing states of happiness. While most people desire these things, most will never achieve them because of the blockages or glass ceilings they adopt. Their programming and conditioning leads them in different directions.
From a very early age, we are taught what is best for us, what we should know, how to survive, our place and how to act within contemporary society. In short, we are taught to follow a set of rules that have been designed to make us fit the majority view, and in so doing we are taught to surrender our potential for a life of freedom.
Human development is said to pass through three major stages with the first being ‘preconvention’ where we enter the world as unsocialised humans. At the preconvention stage we are unaware of our sense of self, unaware of the external world, because the external world has not yet been constructed for us. We have no sense of ourselves as humans, no sense of what is required of us by our parents and no sense of what is required of us by society. As we grow our ‘training’ begins and we become ‘educated’, through the system of parents, elders, teachers, religious leaders, mass media, role models, friends, and a cast of thousands, into a wisdom based on the convention of the masses.
By absorbing an enormous amount of information, beliefs, myths and stories that are positioned for us to ‘experience’ we learn to adapt our behaviours to a particular view of the world and we learn to defend that view as being the ‘right’ one. Through the continued positioning of societal constructs we are effectively conditioned into believing that the world seen through the eyes of conventional wisdom is a world full of decent morals, legitimate beliefs, meaningful values and effective behaviours. As our ‘training’ nears completion we move into the stage of human development termed ‘convention’.
When a major element such as our father is absent from our modelling we can subconsciously adopt a belief that we in many ways are unworthy or in some way incomplete thus seriously limiting or more accurately self determining the level of success we believe that we can or should realise.
As we mature into this stage we are encoded with a view of reality based on what Rodger Walsh refers to as a ‘consensus trance of distorted consciousness’. This trance of convention is where the majority become trapped and human development grinds ever so slowly in a semiconscious existence. In this trance like state we are normally unaware of our flocking and herd behaviours.
Walsh suggests that we don’t normally recognise this trance for a number of reasons. Mainly the lack of recognition has to do with the fact that we are hypnotised during infancy where we all come to believe in common goals and where we begin to share in the consensus of constructed myths. This enables us to live a life in a constructed ‘culture’ the biggest cult of all.
Post convention is the third stage of human development yet so very few people ever achieve progress past convention. Our social system actively discourages it. To live outside the rules of convention is to threaten the system of convention itself and the very foundations of our own beliefs. Walsh argues that much of the misery in our lives, much of the turmoil in our relationships and much of the tragedy in the world only begins to make sense once we can view such things through ‘post conventional’ reference points.
Unless the views of conventional wisdom are challenged and different lessons learned, the majority continue to live under the spell and follow a blueprint of lack. As a result the current state of ‘collective psychosis’ prevails. While some will survive more comfortably than others, few will ever achieve the potential they were born with. Those who achieve will know and live abundance, but those who do not will experience an existence in hardship and the pain of the absent father.